People ask why I write about sex. The answer is that it’s what people want to read about. If this blog post were about giving blood at the orphanage, would you be here? Personally, I’ve had a great deal of experience with sex. As a result, I suffer none of the frustration and fixation shared by most Americans. Just consider the latest flapdoodle involving half a dozen little girls doing a sexy dance in sexy outfits as part of some sort of competition. The video is shown again and again, and the refrain is always the same: Ain’t it awful — tsk, tsk, tsk. I don’t think it’s awful. I don’t think it’s anything but a way of boosting ratings with a sexually immature audience.
Sex is funny in that you can live without it, but not without paying a mental/physical price. It’s a simple pleasure that grows all out of proportion when it’s denied. If Mother Nature were allowed to have her way, this would be a far better place. And who’s behind all the brouhaha? God? Actually, it’s religion.
In order to run a successful religion, you need to follow just one rule: Have more members coming in than going out. One way to achieve this is by gaining control of their sex lives. Try to think of a religion that doesn’t have anything to say about sex. Get a grip on that one single, chemically driven aspect of life and you will have a stranglehold on your flock. The more they try to avoid it, the more they’re going to be drawn to it, and the more they’re going to feel like sinners, and the more they’re going to need you to save them. Tell people sucking lemons is evil and they won’t suck lemons and they won’t need you. Tell people sex is evil and you’ll have them stuck in a revolving door.
Now here’s the rub and the real reason I get so provoked by people who have been bamboozled into believing that copulation without at least 50 strings attached is anything but normal human behavior. The truth is that violence seems to be inversely proportional to the availability of sex. Remember generations of coaches who told the team to avoid love so they’d be full of hate for the big game? Look at riots in the street and what do you see? Mostly young, testosterone-filled males throwing bricks. Look at guys flying planes into buildings. Would they do it if it weren’t for the 79 virgins? And why do you suppose there’s such a premium on virgins? The male’s lack of experience leads to a lack of confidence, and that, in turn, leads to a raging fury against experience and confidence — so let’s find someone with neither. The weird part is that so many terrorists truly believe America is swimming in sex. If they only knew that it gets so much attention only because there’s so little action.
British comedian Eddie Izzard does a very funny and very insightful routine that involves God laying down the laws of mating. The dogs are told to do it doggie-style. The dogs go away happy. The cats are also told to do it doggie-style. The cats aren’t really happy about that, but when are cats really happy about anything? The salmon are told about swimming upstream, struggling over dams and crashing into rocks only to die at the end. Bummer. And finally, the humans are told they can do it pretty much anyway they like — as long as they feel guilty. So I get comments from obviously guilty readers telling me how scary sex really is and providing laundry lists of things that can go wrong while rolling in the hay. That God ever invented sex in the first place was clearly a mistake, so they create caveats that will at least make it as unpleasant as possible.
However, if anything, it’s a lack of sex that can be deadly. The British Medical Journal reported on a long-term study of nearly 1,000 men between the ages of 45 and 59. In our culture of scary sex, it’s perhaps not too surprising that the findings have not received the attention they deserve. You see, the data showed that the amount of sexual activity enjoyed by a man is directly proportional to both his health and longevity. Men who reported twice as much sex were half as likely to die prematurely.
As for all the stories you’ve heard regarding the dangers of the pill, in a study that followed 46,000 women for almost 40 years, taking the pill resulted in their being less likely to die prematurely from all causes, including cancer and heart disease.
And finally, there’s always the threat of unwanted pregnancy. This is typically thrown up by the same folks who want to ban sex education, readily available contraceptives and abortion. The point here is that certain women will continue to make babies. Clearly, abstinence-only and “just say no” approaches don’t work. So if you really want to get serious, consider the Chinese model. If not, then just keep doing what you’re doing and getting what you’re getting.