If Man Obeyed God

I think there’s a problem with some of
your designs Jeffrey the only problem is
your lack of understanding
oh god my designs are perfect okay
nightmares maybe what the hell are you
talking about now well take this one
sharp teeth razor my claws this thing is
made for killing God why would you
design something like this if death
isn’t going to exist
Oh around Jeffrey that’s not a final
final draft digestive system the immune
system I mean all these things suggest
that he can die but how can he die if
sin doesn’t enter the world it’s almost
like you faced all your design decisions
on sin if I didn’t know any better I’d
say that you need sin in order for your
designs to even work don’t be ridiculous
Jeffrey he’s not going to sin I’ll just
tell him not to eat from the completely
unnecessary tree of knowledge that I
hey hey what is the tree of knowledge
anyway don’t worry god I took care of
that I put it way over here
no no I think it would be much more
aesthetically pleasing in a more sensual
location Jeffrey why the hell did you
make the tree so damn tall well smells
like freshly baked cookies dad honestly
I think my way is a lot better I mean
it’s like you want them to eat this food
or something well Jeffrey don’t be
oh I almost forgot the most important
thing the elves are persuasive malicious
sneaky serpent okay remember be full of
fruit I mean I mean our be fruitful and
multiply multiply and exactly how do we
do that remember when we couldn’t find a
suitable animal bring the flock
so I created Eve too fat too skinny
hello babe no yeah sex have sex with Eve
here and in around nine months another
human being will emerge from her vagina
holy shit that sounds like it’ll feel
really strange oh don’t worry
childbirth isn’t painful yet oh one last
thing you can eat from any tree in the
garden even that one over there yep
you can eat from every tree except one
do not eat from the tree of knowledge or
you will die die what does that mean
haha as long as you don’t eat from this
tree you don’t have to worry about it
kid okay God whatever you say we promise
we won’t eat from this tree cool I’m
gonna take off now so I’m not gonna
doing and you’re gonna be on your own
got it
hey you’re not thinking about eating
from this tree are you oh no I would
God said not to good don’t everything
goes to shit if you do so that’s what
dying means yeah look you guys got a
pretty damn good you don’t have to do
jack shit except prance around in the
buff and fuck but if you eat from this
tree that all ends capisce yeah serpent
we got it we weren’t going to eat from
it anyway God specifically told us not
to eat from it right before he left us
alone with it I mean it’s not like he
was using reverse psychology on us or
anything okay sorry have fun you two
Adam I’m sure I’m glad that are you
haven’t eaten distribution shit got no
problem even though it was hazy
actually it was easy not to eat it I
gave up eating like 700 years ago
what why because shit is stinky that’s
why I figured it out no eating means no
shitting what the hell do I even have to
eat for anyway right
is the fucking food